Friday, August 31, 2007

On a count of, One

I now have one more day of work. The farewell party at work yesterday went off pretty nicely. At one point, I was afraid that there wasn't going to be enough food. What does that say about me?

People started coming in slowly at first, but then it seemed as if the whole world was there. What I really liked, was that almost everyone there was from my department, but since this department was so big, not everybody knew each other. I was the only person there that knew everyone. Which is as it should be, since everyone there was there to say goodbye to me. I would have to say, that was the best time I've ever had at a "Work" function. It's just sad that it's also practically, my last day there.

I think I'm a smalltown boy at heart. I tend to like knowing my neighbor. That I can grab an empty cup, run next door and borrow a cup of sugar. In the past, I really enjoyed working in small offices. Where the staff size was small and we worked hard and partied just as hard, if not harder!

I guess I kinda miss that feeling.

A common question to me was, "Why are you leaving?".

The simple answer was that it was time for me to leave.

I've never worked at a job for longer than 2 years in the past. It was the perfect length of time it seemed. It was long enough to get to know the job. I mean really know it, so that what started off difficult and impossible, is now easy. It was also enough time to get leave, before any resentments can grow. Leave while people are still nice to each other.

So what happened in this case? What happened, that I would stay at the same job for over 5 years?

I'm not really sure, to be honest. To be sure, I got complacent, I got lazy. Early on, I had posted a list of classes I was to take near my desk. I never looked at it. At some point, I wanted to just "take it easy". Which is exactly what happened. I took it easy after that 2nd year and I never really pushed further.

That's my mistake. Now that I am moving on, I have to push myself and see what I can do.

Tomorrow, the movers are bringing a huge box. I am to fill it up and lock it with my own lock once I'm done. Then the movers will transport the box for me to my new place. I have been slowly packing and DAMN if it's not the hardest thing to do!

I am having to go through all my things and decide if I really want to bring it with me or not. In a way, I use my physical things to define me... mostly books, but also a lot of little knick knacks. Now since I'm moving into a new place, I'm not going to have a room to hold all these things. Which is one reason why I'm trying to limit myself, using just one relocation box.

Stkyrice jokes around and says that he's going to sign me up for one of those shows that help you get rid of clutter.

I told him that, that would be the last he'd ever see or hear from me. And I meant it, even though I laughed as I said the words. Throwing out my things, the wanting to throw the things away, has to come from inside of me. It can't come from the outside, no matter what.

I guess I really do take after my Zodiac sign, the rat. I tend to make a burrow and build it up to be safe and happy. My place may look messy, but I can always find the things that I need to.

I'm going to have to deal with this "Burrowing" feeling in the new place. I'm hoping that by making things around the house, I'll satisfy it. Right now, as far as I know. I will not have a space I can call my own, just yet.

I'm going to be doing my contract transcription job in the dining room. I hope that once the basement is finished, I'll be able to set up my space there, but we'll have to wait for the basement to be finished first.

When I first saw the place with Scott, he joked and said that it had a dungeon.

I actually got excited! Yes, I am a sick puppy and I admit it. All these thoughts of what we would be doing in a "dungeon" got me really turned on. Then Scott shot those thoughts down when he said that he was going to get rid of it.

It's too bad really. After looking at the supposed dungeon, it's really just a pantry in the basement. It would have been perfect for storing wine. We're storing our wine in boxes right outside the dungeon right now, it's such a shame, really.

I'm going to see if I can set up a wine bottle storage somewhere down there.

It's really funny. I'm not even moved up there and I've already had plans on how to change it.

That's another way to identify a gay man. We love to redecorate!

If you ever have a gay man visit your place. Feel free to ask him what he would change, just be prepared to go shopping with him to get all the materials or new furniture the changes will require!

Don't say I didn't warn you!

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