It is now the eve to my last day at work. I have spent the this past weekend packing and spending time with friends to say goodbye. Did a lil bit of shopping. Bought a tuberose scented diffuser from Pottery Barn for my mom (it's her favorite scent). A Pee and Poo Plushie for Stkyrice. A new wallet for myself from Under One Roof. Strangely enough I wasn't really feeling it as I said my goodbyes. Yet, now, at 1:21AM, I have this weird "knot" in my stomach. I find that taking a breath of air doesn't come easily to me. My stomach and other internal organs are making funny gurgling sounds.
I just finished packing up all my cooking gadgets and most importantly, my KitchenAid Mixer. Early on during my relationship with Stkyrice, he asked me what I wanted as a gift. I told him "A KitchenAid mixer". It seemed funny, but that was exactly what I wanted. several years later, he bought it for me. It helped that I was working for Macy's at the time and I had a sweet discount, but I finally got my KitchenAid mixer and that's what's really important!
Here's a checklist for those people that are uninformed on what gay people want.
Kitchen appliance [X]
KitchenAid Brand appliance [X]
Item On Sale [X]
So after I've packed all my kitchen stuff, I'm almost done with the packing. All I have left is my computer and all the stuff I have on my computer desk. Why can't I get over it and just do it? This is something that really fracking irritates the frack out of me. I will be able to start something, do it really well, but as I get close to finish, my steam runs out. This has been a constant in my life and it fracking sucks BALLS!
That's one of the issues that I hope to address with this move to Seattle. No time like the present right? Uh, not quite.
Frack it all!
So I find myself not being able to do the last bit of packing.
Tomorrow is my last day of packing, the movers are taking the box away the next day. I have to have everything that I'm moving, in that box.
I find that, THAT's the surefire way for me to do something, to do it at the last minute. It seems that, then, I can't really think too much about it and I just do it. So I'm going to call it a night and finish packing tomorrow.
I'm really hoping work is going to be a chill day. I've already gotten my last pay check and I am SO temped to call in sick. I mean, what are they going to do, fire me? LOL
But that's just not me, I never call in sick unless I really AM sick. A huge reason I racked up so much sick leave. I actually like to work and when I don't work, I try to busy myself by finding things to do.
That's another thing I need to work on, doing more "Me' things. I hope to do more knitting, yoga and meditating. I've already decided that one of my first knitting projects will be a cover for the lounge chair I'm bringing up to Seattle with me. This was going to be the only piece of furniture, while packing, we found Stkyrice's old computer desk. He's giving it to me, so now I'll have a comfy chair and desk up in Seattle!
I'm feeling much better right now. Just the act of blogging about my move is helping to calm me down, way cool.
Who wouda thunk it, blogging as therapy!
Words spoken out loud
Take with them my fear and doubts,
Ahhhh, comes out my mouth.