Thursday, April 07, 2005

Circle in the Sand

That song is stuck in my head. It does help that it's one of my favorite songs.

One phrase in particular keeps playing though, like a broken record player...

"Circle in the sand, round and round", then the rest of the song fades away and it repeats itself.

I've always believed that everything that happens to us, happens for a reason. It seems like my life is in some kind of timewarp. Not like a sci-fi time machine kinda way, but in a metaphysical one. I'm finding that the issues I dealt with are coming back to haunt me. Actually, it's issues that I have yet to deal with and now I'm almost forced to deal with them.

To support that "back in time" feeling, aspects of my life are changing to reflect how my life was "back in the day".

I bumped into a friend, Nancy, who I haven't seen in about 10 years. She mentioned that we haven't seen each other since a mutual friend's birthday party. I remember that party only because it was so boring and I was coming out to all of those friends by bringing my (then) boyfriend with me to the party. He was really anxious and had major issues about going, but he was a trooper and went to the party. He was also the first person I've ever loved.

So, going back to my friend Nancy. It didn't seem like she remembers, but we bumped into each other after the party in the BART station. Without going into any details, she was in a bad situation. It was one of the few times where I felt totally at lost and had no idea what to do. I just remembered vividly how much I wanted to leave her presence and how glad I was that I wasn't in her situation. I wasn't sure if I could have survived what she went through.

Jumping back to today, or rather two days ago. I was off work and watching a sneak preview of "A Lot Like Love" had some time to kill before the movie started. I found myself walking aimlessly, my first warning sign that something was up. I went to Union Square and sat down for a little bit and did some knitting. I finished a few rows and felt restless and decided to walk to the theater. While walking, my feet took me across the street, another weird thing. I like crossing the street as little as possible so I like going on the direction of where my destination is. I was thinking, "Why am I going across the street?".

As I was crossing Market St., I thought I saw a familiar face. A name popped up in my mind and I said out loud, "Nancy?" It was my friend Nancy!

We did a little bit of catching up and exchanged phone numbers and emails. She told me how her life is now. The whole time we were chatting, I couldn't get over how good she looked! She was positively beaming! There was this great happy, "I'm in love with life" energy coming out of her.

And it was nice.

She told me how she's turned her life around. In some way, I feel like it's my turn.

Never ending love is what we've found
And you complete the heart of me
Our love is all we need
Circle in the sand


1 comment:

Zee said...

LOL! You guys are going to make it hard for me to catch some sleep tonight!