Wednesday, August 27, 2003

What is it about attraction? I mean, what causes one person to fall madly in love (lust?) with one person, but not another? I have been with my boyfriend/partner for close to 6 and a half years now and still love him dearly. But I found myself wanting to break up with him just the other day. For no apparent reason. Is this what's the considered the dreaded "7 year itch"??? Maybe I need to go rent that movie and find out. Too bad i got rid of my marilyn monroe blond wig a while back.

So i'm walking to work and just feeling really aggro. Nothing and i mean NOTHING was going to make my day better and i just wanted to end it all. I felt like just going back to my car and taking off. Leave everything and everyone i knew behind. I felt like the people in my life weren't there for me. geeze, i'm sounding pretty depressing, don't i?

ok, now i know i need a vacation or a really big hit of ecstacy.....or a really fun night out with a hottie. which brings me back to my original theme...attraction. Why is it, that i'm getting more attention from people OTHER than my boyfriend??? i mean, isn't he supposed to be the best thing for me since sliced tofu? instead, i have all these really nice, cute guys giving me all this attention. some even telling me they love me. i don't know what to do sometimes.

i've always believed that actions speak louder than words. because people lie all the time and you can always trust the actions. i mean, if you had a friend go around and stab you in the back...can you really call them a friend? of course not! (oh, this is happening to a friend of mine recently and not me btw) i read somewhere that those are "poison friends". people that are not good for you, for whatever reason, but ones you just can't get yourself to get rid of.

i'm in such a bitcho (thanks kimmie for that term!!! hope u're having a great time in hawaii!!!) mode right now!

i'm headed up to russian river this weekend for some much needed r&r. i plan on heading out of town right after my training for the AIDS marathon sat morning. speaking of which, i'm training for the AIDS marathon which is happening on dec 14. it's a great cause and totally kicks ur butt during the training...i swear i get hurt every other week(weak)end. i plan on just kicking back at the pool up at fife's ranch and reading, sleeping and totally ignoring all the cute white boys up there.

ta ta

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