Sunday, March 23, 2008

Adventures in online connections

Well, my life up here in Seattle has been pretty good so far. I am starting to get used to the colder temperature (finally). My job situation has gotten better. The people I've met in person so far, has been pretty positive, for the most part.

It seems that there is a higher than average incidence of flakes and weirdos here in Seattle. Now, this isn't a scientific study or anything like that, just what I've been experiencing.

For example. I don't go out to the bars / clubs very much. I tend to meet people online first, then go get a drink or meal or something. If there is some chemistry, then something happens. If there is no chemistry, we call it a day (or night) and leave it at that and go our separate ways.

So today, I received a message online, that I was perfect and he really wanted to meet me. Of course, I was flattered. I looked at the guy's profile and saw a picture of his dick. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with dick shots, but if I am to meet someone, I need to know what he looks like. I can't really see through people's pants (as much as I'd like to). So I asked to see a picture of his face.

He responded that he couldn't show his face pic for personal reasons and suggested that we meet in a neutral place where I would feel safe. I agreed to that. I already had plans for today (I had to paint the bathroom today), could only meet some other day. We decided to possibly meet not this coming Monday, but the following Monday. Then I logged off the site and went to paint the bathroom.

It took me longer than I expected, because I also had to do some touch-ups on the bedroom I painted several days ago. I logged back onto the site and I saw that there was a message from the guy earlier.

He told me that I was to address him as "Master" or "Sir".

I was very taken back by this. First of all, I have no problem with BDSM. In the past, both distant and more recent, I had developed relationships with some men, whom I am proud and honored to call "Daddy" or "Sir". Of course, this is after we have established that we have that type of relationship. It can happen either through clear communication or it may happen over time, naturally and organically. No matter how it comes to be, there is always some type of agreement between both parties.

So for this unknown man, to insist that I address him as "Master" or "Sir", when we were only supposed to meet and talk! I was extremely offended.

This non-entity, assumed, that he was already in control of me and my person! When did "I'll see you that Monday then. I'll contact you next Sunday to discuss the place and time." mean that we'll be doing anything at all!

I responded to his message with my standard reply, "Thanks for contacting me, but I am not interested. Have a nice day."

He responded with another message with a simple "?".

I deleted that message.

Just because someone logs onto a website geared towards "hookups", doesn't mean that he will jump for everyone. Hey, I admit that I'm a slut and love sex. Some people (mostly my friends) say that I have no standards in regards to the men I have sex with. I disagree, I do have standards. They just happen to be very low sometimes! But it doesn't mean I have none!

When it comes to respect, that's a different story. Even when I'm being plowed like a two-bit street corner whore several times an hour, I have to at least feel that I am being respected on some level. Otherwise, why the hell would I be in that situation!

So when someone "assumes" that they will have sex with me, before even meeting me in person, that person has just lost any hope of ever doing so. I don't need that type of "dis-respect" and I don't know anyone who does.

Cherry blossoms bloom
Petals on wind, flutter down.
Covers the condom.



YUGYAG said...

you bet buddy,

i recently met on guy online. He is from US and coming to India in June. He wants me to meet him and stay with him in a different state, which is like 2.5 hours flight journey from where i live.

I told him that lets know each other and then only i can tell him. As i can not make promise to a stranger. But this guy was so offended, how come i addressed him as a stranger. Afterall, we have been talking since last ten minutes.

My gosh.. Thats why sometimes i feel as if i have lost respect for Gay guys...

But nice knowing your blog here.. would like to share things..

Enjoy blogging.. and meeting people..

Marc C said...

Very right on observations H. While I'm sure there are people who would tolerate and even encourage that approach, I'm with you in that I want to know that when all is said and done, I can still look in the mirror and respect myself. Otherwise, what's the point?