Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Thinking of beginnings

This is a long post...feel free to skip ahead, do the fandango, go watch a movie, or whatever else your heart desires.

I just celebrated my birthday (four months late) with some good friends last night at Cafe Gratitude. It's a vegan raw food place and it's delish!

We started off with "I am kind", "I am present", and "I am oppulent". I had "I am faithful", Efren was having "I am precious" and Tho and Ted shared "I am eternally sweet".

After ordering our appetizers and drinks, I was starting to have weird visions of Stuart Smalley from SNL skits from way back when.

For our main course, we had "I am flourishing", "I am abundant" and "I am passionate" / "I am sensational". We finished off with "I am adoring", "I am delighted", "I am magnificent" and "I am cherished" a la mode.

Here's the translation (taken off of the menu) of what we ordered.

  • "I am kind": A a rich sunflower seed and sundried tomato pate with a touch of chipotle chili on a bed of mixed greens accompanied by flax chips
  • "I am present": Our nut cheese of the day served with apple slices live crackers and bread with a taste of our olive tapenade on a bed of mixed greens
  • "I am oppulent": Black and green greek olive tapenade on a bed of mixed greens with cherry tomatoes and live crackers
  • "I am faithful": Scarlet fruit infusion made of dried fruits and rare botanicals
  • "I am precious": Organic Rooibos is known for its health beneficial anti-oxidants minerals and vitamins
  • "I am eternally sweet": Chocolate shake -- almond milk, dates, organic chocolate and vanilla blended with soft serve
  • "I am flourishing": Live almond and sesame seed falafels with hummus olive tapenade, cucumber tsziki and fresh tomatoes on a bed of mixed greens, served with live toast
  • "I am abundant": A sampler plate consisting of live nachos, butternut squash noodles, a magical mushroom, olive tapenade, live hummus and a mint thai coconut soup, comes with live bread and crackers
  • "I am passionate": Our live pizza, comes with small salad. Sprouted buckwheat and sunflower seed crust topped with sundried tomato greens and sprinkled with brazil nut parmesan
  • "I am sensational": Our pesto pizza, comes with small salad. Sprouted buckwheat and sunflower seed crust topped with basil almond pesto, tomatoes, cashew ricotta, micro greens and sprinkled with brazil nut parmesan
  • "I am adoring": Organic Chocolate
  • "I am delighted": Coconut-vanilla (Tiramisu)
  • "I am magnificent": Organic chocolate-coconut almond milk mousse with chocolate shavings
  • "I am cherished" a la mode: Cashew cream cheese cake of the day (blueberry) with an almond date crust
The cost of all this affirmation? $107 (plus tip)

So... celebrating our birthday, made me think of who I am. This is something that I'm alway working on. I'm constantly trying to figure out who I am. You know, kinda of like a "find yourself" thing.

The following was taken off of a Tribe posting for A-T cusp people. My responses will be in red.

"Aries is the first sign of the zodiac. It represents birth and the first realization of self. Taurus, the second sign of the zodiac, moves beyond the birth and first realization of self represented by Aries. Taurus begins to physically explore the world. Aries tend to display strong leadership, and their extroverted and assertive nature let them eagerly lead the new cycle of the zodiac. Taureans tend to be richly sensual yup, enjoying the good things in life yup and the physical pleasures that come with them Bingo!. Together, these two astrological signs denote an active and dynamic pioneer who responds to the world by examining the worth of each possible response. The ability to follow through and complete projects that others may have abandoned through boredom or because it was too difficult is blended with the sign of new beginnings. This promises a tremendous amount of fulfilling adventure and achievement for those born on the Aries/Taurus cusp.

The astrological symbol of Aries is the Ram. Like the popular conception of the Ram, Aries people are able to accomplish a lot by sheer energy and force of will, "ramming" their way to their goals. I always saw this as a bull charging forward. In this way, Aries exemplifies the cardinal quality assigned to it. The astrological symbol of Taurus is the Bull. The term bullheaded applies to Taureans in both its positive and negative connotations, and Taurus exemplifies the fixed quality assigned to it. The Aries/Taurus can be blunt something I am always, and they are bold and strong. They are among the strongest combination of signs when it comes to meeting goals because of their reliable persistence something people have always said about me. Those born under the influence of both astrological signs are able to initiate and successfully complete projects and activities.

Aries is ruled by the planet Mars. In ancient Roman mythology, Mars (and his Greek equivalent, Aries) was the god of war. He was bold, aggressive, energetic, and courageous. On the negative side, he was impulsive, compulsive, and quick-tempered, and he could give in to anger and a will for destruction. Taurus is ruled by the planet Venus. In ancient Roman mythology, Venus (and her Greek equivalent, Aphrodite) was the goddess of love, beauty, and pleasure. She represented joy, happiness, and appreciation of beautiful things. On the negative side, her appreciation for sweets and luxury could result in overindulgence. Mars was active and high-spirited, full of physical energy and vitality; the Aries/Taurus-born reflect his leadership and initiative. They are strongly independent and determined and have the physical stamina to stay their course completed two marathons and training for my third. They have a great love for culture I love museums!. It's important to them to feel good. They often maintain extensive art collections my comic books and manga are tend to be artistic themselves, sometimes through singing it's all about the karaoke baby!. They enjoy partnership and marriage, and use their charm -- as well as their focused perseverance -- to work toward harmony and personal security. An individual born on the Aries/Taurus cusp has the potential for great satisfaction in life, thanks to the balance of great action and great will.

The element associated with Aries is fire, and the element associated with Taurus is earth. Fire signs are physical beings who tend to respond to the world through action. Earth signs tend to respond to the world by examining the worth of each possible response. The combination of these two elements provides a solid foundation to pioneer uncharted territories. In terms people, I look at what people do, as opposed to what they say and make my opinion of them from that.

The Aries/Taurus tends to want what they want and when they want it this can be hard when it comes to deciding on where to eat or impulse shopping. The Aries side of their character needs to accept that this isn't always possible, and stop butting their heads, ramlike, into the nearest wall. Aries/Taurus people can be also be extremely patient yup, up to a point and dependable if I said I will do it, I'll do it... eventually. Their ambition ensures that they are hardworking and helpful to others. The blending of their elements, earth and fire, give them a general focus on building things and seeing their ideas through to completion. However, the fixed opinions of the Aries/Taurus can be surprisingly unchangeable, even when they have discovered a flaw in their logic. It's hard for me believe something else, once I've made my decision about someone/thing.

In their leisure time, Aries/Taurus tend to play as hard as they work at the office. They greatly enjoy athletics, as sports give them a positive and healthy outlet for some of their natural aggression. They appreciate both individual challenge, especially aerobics kickboxing, as well as the group challenge of football and soccer. Aries/Taurus tend to enjoy outdoor activities, such as hiking oh yeah, that allow them to get close to the earth. Conversely, their appreciation of art and culture sends them to the opera and exclusive galleries. The Aries/Taurus cusp individual could possibly be an expert rock climber, kayaker, or skier love this, but not very good at it. Intense activity and drive channeled through a great love and respect for the natural beauty of the outdoors is often seen with this astrological aspect.

The great strength of the Aries/Taurus-born is in their energy, initiative, and courage. Their ability to take a project and go with it is unparalleled. Their more earthy side brings out their stability and perseverance. Methodical determination I set up a plan to do something and just do it enables them to be productive when others have long since given up. With the combination of fire and earth, they are one of the most dynamic, stable, and passionate characters of the zodiac.

From another site: Added info

Individuals born on the cusp of Aries (the first Sign of the Zodiac) and Taurus (the second Sign of the Zodiac) are ruled by both Mars and Venus. Intrinsic in this combination is the aesthetic romantic love typified by the Planet Venus and the passionate, action-orientation afforded by the Planet Mars. Such natives must feel deeply the focal point of their life and pursue it boldly. This cusp complements actors I love acting!, actresses, fashion designers and dancers, who feel that the beauty and drama of life springs forth from the deepest urges of creation.

The Aries/Taurus cusp combination, also known as the Cusp of Power, corresponds symbolically to the period of human life at around the age of seven years. Here, the fire element of Aries and the earth element of Taurus can be both constructive and destructive. The constructive side of this blend displays a harnessing of energy to support and promote domestic existence. The Taurus aspect of this cusp has the expectation of creating something for posterity...the creation of children, the establishment of relationships and business are all equally important in the life of this particular mixture...and chivalry reigns supreme. The "down" side of this cusp demonstrates itself in burnout bingo!. The practical aspects of creating life here on Earth can stifle or even obliterate the inspiration inherent in this combination. Frustration occurs when the desire to propel the dream is thwarted by those of lesser motivation yeah, I've decided a not to wait for others, if I want to realize my dreams or real world restrictions. The typical "bull in a china shop" syndrome can manifest itself under difficult auspices and the desire to tear down structures that do not support the tender side of this personality become evident. Competition for a mate can take over the mentality of this cuspian until victory or failure is achieved. Children born of this combination need to be encouraged to pursue activities and studies that they love. The carry-over from Mars, the governing Planet of Aries, gives this cusp an impetuous touch that can become both powerful and dangerous through the self-willed and often stubborn nature of Taurus, which is controlled by the emotional and pleasure-loving Venus. When these cuspians act impulsively, then their plans suffer. However, they seldom "give up the ship." Having begun as go-getters, they become bullheaded and determined see it through. Often, they will take up enterprises just to prove that they can put them across...and they usually do. Because of this, these natives should exert their powers along honest and worthwhile lines. The self-esteem found in this cusp combination is exceeded only by the urge for self-gratification, which will invariably make its subjects unreasonable and overbearing unless self-control is developed.

The inherent nature of Aries/Taurus subjects is somewhat headstrong and often quite violent. These are generous individuals who are broad and extremely practical in their ways, but their natures are so dominant that they frequently find it rather difficult to work well under others. Liberally endowed with both originality and executive ability, the possibilities that lie within the paths of these cuspians truly is quite wonderful. They are strong, very confident and exceedingly determined souls who possess unlimited faith in their own knowlege I know what I know and I'm sure of it. These are individuals who constantly and freely give advice to those around them...relatives or friends I try to only give advice when it's asked for. There is also a strong magnetic personality here which makes these natives very persuasive, so much so that the advice given is often difficult to decline or resist. Yet, at the same time, they themselves are among the last to accept advice from others. Indeed, Aries/Taurus cuspians might well be considered strong-headed and persistent in their undertakings, often utterly heedless of any form of advisement regardless of how great the expense involved or how deep and true the knowledge of those who would offer well-intended suggestions and gentle criticisms. These cuspians possess excellent taste in all things and absolutely delight in the pleasures of food I'm a big foodie. They also find much enjoyment in displaying evidence of their thoughtfulness to friends by way of gifts I love to thinking of the other person when I get a gift for them and get them something they'll like and throwing dinner parties, etc. There is also immense fondness here for children I love kids and really want my own.

Aries/Taurus natives strive for power in their daily lives, but the fiery and dynamic Aries character is tempered and grounded courtesy of the solid earthiness of Taurus. Thus, the undeniable trademark of these cuspians tends to be a preoccupation with power and their birthright is perceived as nothing less than the very best that life has to offer. Nevertheless, these individuals usually possess the ability of being able to pursue their goals without inciting antagonism in those around them since others others find it easier and more advantageous to agree with the powerfully persuasive Aries/Taurus cuspian rather than disagree. Whether it takes a long time or short time to achieve their ends matters little to these individuals provided they eventually arrive. Above all, they have a superb sense of timing and the talent to know when and when not to act. At an initial meeting, these cuspians frequently impress others as being quiet and self-assured...people who know how to watch and wait. Indeed, Aries/Taurus subjects refuse to waste time in proving anything to anyone. They would rather confidently hang back and preserve their energy for when it really counts. Thus, they make for formidable enemies and capable work colleagues. Indeed, their approach to work is highly professional and those involved in any relationship with these cuspians will need to understand that a career will always be at least as important. Others can benefit tremendously from an association with Aries/Taurus natives for they emit a powerful presence and sense of capability. These cuspians are well aware of the value of money...and also know how to attain it. However, the goal here is generally not so much in terms of financial security as a steady cashflow derived from work which will allow for worry-free spending bingo!. In the eyes of those born on the Aries/Taurus cusp, financial dependency on another is a liability...these are people who would much rather support themselves and harbor little desire to relinquish personal freedom. Learning to accept financial support (or any type of support for that matter) from family and friends may be difficult for these individuals but, like love, it will take them a step forward in personal development.

Aries/Taurus natives are extrememly generous characters...but on their own terms. They are inclined to give only when it suits them and are equally capable of taking back not only their gifts but also their affection. However, this is rarely done out of capriciousness or malice but because they feel their gifts have gone unappreciated or were undeserved I've actually done this when I feel that the person I've given my affections, doesn't appreciate it. Often, the degree of giving here can, in and of itself, be intimidating and lead to the arousal of insecurity in less robust souls. Such a display of lavish behavior may create dependencies within both the giver and the receiver...dependencies which may, at a later date, be difficult if not impossible to break. In addition, individuals born of this blend possess a strongly marked sexual nature that's me! which can frequently lead to hasty and unhappy marriages. It is vital for Aries/Taurus subjects to be aware that the greatest power of all may be the power of love...whether sexual, affectionate, romantic, platonic or religious. Love appears to have an undeniable softening effect upon these cuspians. Although they may take and discard partners when it pleases them, they really do fare best upon a steady stream of love from one special person...particularly when such love is accompanied by unconditional giving on their part. Indeed, this may well be the closest an Aries/Taurus cuspian will ever come to true selflessness. At its best, this cusp combination is generally an excellent blend of natures, provided the cuspian in question chooses undertakings that are not only worth the effort involved, but also worthy of it. Here, there is a chance to turn initial drive into sustained power, particularly because those born on this cusp are suited to all the occupations related to Taurus, but should have greater prospects in those fields than the average person of that Sign. At its worse, this cusp combination posseses an unfortunate tendency for the cuspian to sink into the depths of depravity in terms of sensuality, dissipation and vice been there, and DAMN I had a great time doing it!.

Many Aries/Taurus natives often secretly yearn to relinquish the daily battles of the world and simply submit totally to fantasy, pleasure, sheer laziness or perhaps another individual I often have fantasies of being a kept boy or some rich guy's sex object. Although this is virtually impossible for such cuspians to accomplish for very long, it is often a comforting thought in their hard-driving approach to daily life...a notion which may get them through many a difficult day. Indeed, those governed by this cusp combination tend to do best when they can "empty themselves out" from time-to-time (through sleep yup, massage yup, meditation yup or a vacation yup, for example I also recharge by reading a book, watching a movie or playing a video game. For a while, I also did drugs to recharge) and allow themselves the opportunity to "recharge." In their leisure time, Aries/Taurus individuals are apt to play as hard as they work. Any activity of an athletic nature will be greatly enjoyed since sports provide a positive and healthy outlet for some of the natural aggression associated with this cusp combination. Both individual challenge (aerobics, for example) as well as the group challenge of such sports as football and soccer will be greatly appreciated. Aries/Taurus subjects also enjoy outdoor activities which allow them to get close to the earth (hiking, for instance). Indeed, these individuals could easily become expert rock climbers or kayakers or skiers...inherent intense activity and drive channeled through a great love and respect for the natural beauty of the outdoors is often apparent in this cusp combination. Conversely, the appreciation of art and culture here will also send these cuspians off to the opera and exclusive galleries.

With regard to relationships, Aries/Taurus cuspians are always able to make their presence felt in their interactions with others regardless of the circumstances. These are big people, capable of prodigious mistakes as well as sparkling success and they usually leave little doubt about where they stand. These are individuals who tend to choose rather than be chosen and once the sights have been fixed upon a partner, the matter is usually settled. However, this is not to imply that the judgment of Aries/Taurus natives is perfect. They will quickly take the credit for a wise choice, but the inherent inability to admit a major mistake tends to make these subjects very long-suffering. They are prone to "hang in there" not only because they are, by and large, faithful souls but also because to quit would be an admission of failure...and failure is something these cuspians do not handle easily this is something I've had a hard time dealing with.

Perhaps the greatest strengths of Aries/Taurus natives is to be found in their energy, initiative and courage. Their ability to take a project and "run with it" is virtually unparalleled by any other cusp combination of the Zodiac. Their more earthy side encourages stability and perseverance while methodical determination enables them to be productive when others have long since "given up the ghost." Indeed, this particular combination of fire and earth makes the Aries/Taurus cuspian one of the most dynamic, stable and passionate characters of the entire Zodiac.

The most important lesson to be learned by the Aries/Taurus native is that personal strength does not lie in the creation of ideas, but in their development...which is all the more reason for choosing well and wisely in the first place. Thus, it is important that these cuspians learn how to "back off" and allow things to happen as they will something that I've been working on these past few years. It may also be necessary for them to become more sensitive to the feelings of others. As with all cusp individuals, these cuspians tend to be attracted to others born on the cusp...particularly those who fall within the Taurus/Gemini and Scorpio/Sagittarius combinations.

Personality Overview:
-- Possess the fiery forwardness and willfulness inherent in Aries --
-- Possess the practicality, endurance and nurturing inherent in Taurus --
-- Has a markedly dominant personality --
-- Becomes very uncomfortable if forced to submit to the control of another --
-- Highly strategic in thought and action --
-- In no hurry to see results --
-- Expert in thorough and painstaking preparation --
-- Reluctant to allow things to happen as they will --
-- Somewhat insensitive to the feelings of others --"

It's really scary to see things that I've always done naturally, be spelled out and described on black and white. It makes me wonder if we're not all in a gigantic maze and we're not all lab rats running along the maze searching for the cheese that we've been programmed to love.

Searching for my goal in life
Like everyone else


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