My friend John down in Cal Poly sends me jokes from time to time. I thought it was time for a little humor before all the leather festivities this week.
Speaking of which, I went to a Kinky GAM event last night. Pictures were taken, so I'll post some of them, once I get them.
How are these two seemingly different things connected? You may ask.
I couldn't stop giggling last night :)
Here's the email:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
GEORGE W BUSH We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.
JOHN KERRY Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
RALPH NADER The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
JERRY FALWELL Because the chicken was gay - isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
DR SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die in the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.
ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX It was an historic inevitability.
MICHAEL MOORE What chicken are you referring to? The one that crossed the road to help Bush and the Right-wingers plan the attacks on this country on 9/11. See my movie, "Fahrenheit 9/11", and you will see what is happening!! See how they are blaming it on innocent Muslim "freedom fighters", who just needed that chicken for one of the starving masses in Muslim lands.
CAPTAIN KIRK To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.
SIGMUND FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES I have just witnessed eChicken2004, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook, - and internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS Did I miss one?